


Unexplainable

by SquateX



Series: Like Family (SVTFOE) [1]
Category: Star vs. The Forces Of Evil
Genre: Family, Glossaryck is new to this, I repeat, Post Finale, Pre Finale, Spoilers, Star as a baby, This is innocent fluff, platonic, whole "family" thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-08 09:32:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18891901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SquateX/pseuds/SquateX
Summary: SPOILERSGlossaryck has existed for a long, long time. For only a short amount of that time, he knew Star. But he wouldn't have traded it for the world.Except, as she grows older, he will have to distance himself more and more. And that hurts, but it's what she needs in the end.





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> No one ever writes about Glossaryck. I figured I'd start. Let me know what you think.

He had a bigger form, not that he intended for anyone to know.

He used it for trivial things, mostly. He had few pleasures in his existence, but sometimes you have to be _mewman_ sized to genuinely enjoy them.

It's funny because frankly, he wasn't always so... _engaged_ in this reality. Mostly, Glossaryck preferred not having affiliations, bonds, things to tie him down. Such could be seen in his relationship – or lack thereof – with his creations. The Magical High Commission didn't seem to mind, though. They were grateful to be brought into existence and that was that; they expected no more from him. It was better that way because even as the creator of the universe, he had difficulties picturing himself as a friend or a "father".

Having a larger size, Glossaryck felt, would probably make people see him differently, subconsciously want more from him – since he was more “present” or “in their face”. So, he kept his ability to size-shift to a minimum. For a while, though, perhaps a few generations, he’d become more and more... interested? Interested in what was happening?

No, that didn’t feel like the right wording. It sounded cold, and cold was not something he was beginning to feel. He liked cold – this was not something he liked, at first. Because what was the point of being a neutral creator if he couldn’t keep his emotions in check? He knew the fate of magic the moment he burst into existence; he couldn’t let opinions of others sway the outcome, he couldn’t leave an impact.

It was just a bad idea, basically.

But trillions of years pass, and he knew that this was eventually going to grate on him. Glossaryck just didn’t expect it to happen so... quickly. And for his heart to become so tender.

He should mention more often that he wasn’t a fan of babies – that had come with the exposure of experience and time. Knowing how to deal with them, knowing how to understand them...

Glossaryck guessed he became more open to them when Star was born. Or, more specifically, when Moon lost her mother because it reminded him so much of Eclispa’s struggles losing her mother at that age and – basically, it was something he was hoping not to see again. Repetition was where it started.

Seeing Moon numb with depression had coaxed him out of his neutral stance for the smallest of moments, watching her go day in and day out on her duties without time to actually grieve. She kept pushing it further and further away. And Glossaryck thought, _well, that’s no good._

His job was to teach her how to be a queen, of course, but being a queen meant that one should be in a healthy mental state. So, now and then, while she slept, he hovered a foot away from her pillow and allowed magic to sway her dreams. Happy dreams; content dreams. More importantly, dreams that gave her closure with her mother, dreams that slowly drained her depression. He could only do so much for that, but Moon was a strong kid and Glossaryck was sure she’d be able to fight the rest of the way.

And when Star was born, he wouldn’t tell anyone, but – he was absolutely smitten.

Which was why, on certain nights like tonight, he hovered into the nursery, when he sensed she was on the breach of waking up, and waited in the darkness, sitting on the wall of the cradle. It was as his eyes rested on the drooling baby, tufts of her uncombed blond hair sticking all over the place when he realized that this attachment was dangerous.

 He wasn’t supposed to bond – at least, he didn’t think so, but that was one of the guidelines he’d made himself all those years ago. But then it sort of occurred to him that it was a little _late_ since the bonding really started with Moon (with whom, though he did not realize, he acted similarly to a paternal figure).

So basically, screw it. Just this once.

Star began to babble and shift in her sleep, and slowly her big Caribbean blue eyes open. Of course, it was dark and she thought she was alone, so naturally, she began to cry, throwing her chubby little arms in the air. This was usually what Glossaryck waited for, actually.

“Hey, hey, hey,” He said in a low whisper, keeping his voice calm and soft. “Whatcha crying about? You don’t have any bills to pay.” An Earth joke and she was bound to stare at him in wonder rather than understanding, so he figured it would go through one ear and out the other.

The tears stopped, and Star finally noticed his tiny frame on the edge of her cradle. She tried to move her head (which he found hilarious because the poor thing was basically pinned by the weight of it) and reached for him. When her tiny hands couldn’t reach, she started whining again.

He flitted down, per her request. That didn’t seem to be what she wanted either. “Geeze,” He chuckled when she began the crocodile tears. “You’re making my whole “neutral creator” job pretty hard, kiddo. I shouldn’t be cradling you.”

But he had already thrown the rules out the window. He wondered if he was being selfish – bonding with the one child that would be the death of him. Bias. He’d already been alive for, in his opinion, way too long. She would be his blessing, in the end. Perhaps he favoured her because of it.

Again, screw it. If he was limited to sixteen years left of existence, he was going to enjoy it. And he would start by cradling this absolutely fascinating creature that just seemed to light up the room with her infectious, drooling smile.

Floating out of the crib, he allowed himself some space to shift in size. He was never going to be very tall, of course. He was naturally very short in his build. In fact, he was only roughly a foot taller than River, which was definitely more than he expected but still very short in “average height” terms.

One of the few pleasures he could enjoy in this form – holding her in his arms.

Stretching his arms back and feeling the familiar pop in his spine, he casually reached into the crib, where Star babbled happily at seeing him in this form. Carefully holding her head, he lifted her out and bobbed her up in down lightly, cradling her. She nuzzled – or at the very least, tried to – his robe. It _was_ pretty soft, so he didn’t blame her.

Her tiny little hand finding comfort in holding a handful of his beard is what made him cave in completely. She tugged, delighted, and counted his blessings that he was unable to feel genuine pain, but look of euphoria on the baby’s face filled him with an unexplainable feeling. He brought her close and shut his eyes, focusing on the feeling, but the word never attached itself to meaning.

He wouldn’t come to recognize this feeling until much, much later.

“And here I was, thinking that she was just an angelic sleeper.”

Glossaryck started, shooting upright and giving a bizarre and bewildered expression to the young mother in the doorway. Moon’s eyes were soft with that very same, unfamiliar expression, the feeling he couldn’t place a word to. Her messed curls spilled down her back, her expression sleepy but he found a secret delight in her eyes.

“Not a word.” Glossaryck insisted flatly, bobbing Star again. He stubbornly refused to look at Moon.

Moon laughed. “You were the one always tending to her? I thought it was because she slept through the night.”

“I figured you and River could use some sleep. “New parents” or something.”

Her pale blue eyes rolled. “I’m sure.”

Glossaryck should be defensive, or at least that was how everyone else usually reacted when caught mid-lie, but he was always a humble Creator. He felt a chuckle bounce his shoulders. Moon’s smile, unconcealed by lipstick, faded a little and she looked to the carpeted blue floor to her left.

“... Do you usually feel that you have to hide it? Do I make you feel like that?”

Her question took him by surprise, and he blinked a few times, unsure of how to respond. Then, as Star tugged once more at his beard and gurgled happily, he responded. “What a bizarre question.”

Moon gripped the sides of her arms. “I know you like talking in riddles, but please...”

He looked up at her intently. “What do you think?” He asked, curiously, searching her face for a response. Moreover, the question they both knew he’d _really_ asked was, _why do you think that?_

Her eyes showed a trace of irritation, but an exasperated sort of affection, like a daughter who has since gotten fed up with her father’s absolute ambiguity.   _Oops_ , Glossaryck grins, but not really. She knows this is just how he is.

“... I know you gave me those dreams.” Moon confessed finally, sliding down the wall, sitting on the ground.

“Hmm. Interesting.” And he’d thought he’d been so subtle.

“But you never – there was never anything when I was awake. So I wondered...”

Oh. _Oh._ “No, Moon, no.” He shook his head slowly. She thought she was the reason he had to hide affection. He suspected that perhaps the postpartum was creating this tide of insecurity within her. He had to say this carefully, not in riddles as he usually would. “I’m not used to this,” he said, finally. “Not used to showing... that I care.” It was one of the truths.

Moon’s eyes were shining. “But you do care?”

Well, since he’d all but thrown out his own rules –

“Yes, of course. But let’s just keep this between you and me, alright?”

Star gurgled, as if to say, _and me!_ But the more he thought about it, the less of a good idea it seemed to play a big role in her life. Because when the time came for the magic to be destroyed ... well. It just wouldn’t be fair to her. She’d lose someone so integrated into her life. She’d never be the same happy personality.

No, he had to teach her independence – different from the other queens. Because she was going to be different.

So much different.

So for what it was worth right now, at the moment, he held Star tighter than he thought was possible for a baby to withstand. Once her memories started forming, he would withdraw from her life.


	2. The Middle, The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Glossaryck attempts to create independence in Star, and finally determines that platonic feeling he'd previously known to be unexplainable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might become a series - Star dealing with a changed world and losing her mentor, as well as loopholes in the story.

When the wand was given to Star on her fourteenth birthday, Glossaryck pretty much prepared himself for mewberty and attitude and _just oh Magic why._ Don't get him wrong – he adores her, however much of a hassle she ended up being, but it was not his favourite part of being queens' mentor. Sure, she was a bit wild and crazy, but underneath that overly eager exterior was a very soft heart.

Admittedly, he wasn't prepared for that last bit. Knowing that magic was doomed from the start and would be destroyed by her hands was one thing, and he, at the very least, expected her to wild and crazy, but to know her soft core... He'd, well, expected her to be sort of like Solaria – strong, steely, unfeeling, determined. Glossaryck didn’t think the soft sort to be the kind that would destroy something that ran in her family’s blood for generations and couldn’t imagine living without.

But there’s a first for everything, he’d guessed. And to be honest, watching her grow up and become her own person was going to be... _exciting_. As it already was, frankly.

He hovered over Moon's shoulder many a time when she was on the throne, either listening to her endless worries and concerns over Star or offering advice in terms of magic (albeit, in a very ambiguous manner). 

As Star grew up, she went from sitting on her mother’s lap and reaching helplessly at Glossaryck, giggling uncontrollably, to sitting quietly and avoiding eye contact. It was... a feeling, in his mind, in whatever was his heart, that tore him up every time – he had to tell himself that he was trying to save her from a lifetime of guilt, of loss. It’d be better in the long run.

Eventually, it became easier to be distant, and it wasn’t something he didn’t know how to do, of course, since that was his standard being. But he maintained that eagerness at the back of his mind; eager to watch her grow up, to see what kind of person she would end up being.

So, her fourteenth birthday. They were reintroduced to each other by Moon.

“You remember Glossaryck, don’t you?” Moon chuckled softly, resting a hand on Star’s shoulder as Glossaryck sits on the book of spells cradled in Moon’s free arm. Likely, Moon was thinking of when Star was a toddler and played “dolls” with Glossaryck.

Star thought for a moment, squinting her eyes. “Uhh... little blue magic man that sits on your shoulder sometimes? Yeah, I remember.” A flash of disappointment struck Moon’s face, but it was quickly covered by a matter-of-factness.

Glossaryck tried to pretend that he hadn’t felt a twinge of regret and disappointment, either.

“Right.” Moon cleared her throat, nodding along. “He’ll be your mentor, and help you as you start using magic. I expect you to give him your full attention.”

And that's how it started – Star went to Earth, met Marco, had crazy adventures. Of course, she didn't pay any attention to Glossaryck – she was a teenager, after all. Let her have her fun.

But then it became less fun and more procrastination. She wasn’t skilled in using her wand either. It became more concerning because frankly, what if something happened to her? She could have been fighting off Ludo’s goons and then, something just doesn’t go the way she expects it to.

He decides it’s time to get her a little more involved in her responsibilities. Then –

“Come on, Marco, let’s go have fun with our _friends_.”

Oof. He had to admit, that stung a _little_ , but then – he could use this. He _could_ use this. “Oh,” He faltered, ‘offended', “I thought _we_ were friends, but...” He doesn’t like playing with emotions, but Star seems to only learn one way – when she knows actively she’s made a mistake.

He knew he was right when she whirled around bewildered. "Oh! No, no, no!" She searched for the right words, but they don't come easily to a teenager still learning to socialize. "We _are_ friends, I just don’t have _fun_ with you.” Another oof. But a tiny one. Learning was never going to be _fun_ , but he’d gotten her like a fish in a net.

The whole game played out. They’d taken him to the movies, fed him snacks, even made a ploy to try to get him to come out of the donut box. Eventually, things sorted themselves out and he’d gotten Star to be more committed to her studies. He considered that a win.

And then... Ludo. Toffee.

Glossaryck’s main concern was being too involved in her learning. He did not intend for her to become reliant on him, to lean on him as she could lean on family. _~~He wanted to be there for her but~~_ This attachment was dangerous, for _her_. He felt it might stunt her progress.

So, in a strange sort of way, he expected good things to come from her growth when Ludo stole the book of spells. He _did_ care about her, but the last thing she needed was for her to know it. At least, at the moment. Not knowing would push her to motivate herself rather than relying on someone else to motivate her.

But... she reached out to him.

He wasn’t expecting that, to be honest. It seems he’d played a bigger role in her life than he initially realized. He watched the yellow glow of the “spying” spell as it rotated and circled around her face, her determined face, brows furrowed in focus and eyes steely.

Honestly, Glossaryck never really cared for himself all that much, never much paid any attention to who “stole” the book. He was wherever he was. On the floor, in a cave, in the universe. He’d provided Star with that answer.

Of course, she’d thrown her arms in the air in exasperation. But then she _dipped down_. To get _him_ back. Now that was something. “I’m almost there!” She choked, eyes glowing blindly and the marks on her cheeks resonating.

Breaking through the walls of the spying spell was.... something else. Fascinating.

“Yes,” he nodded casually, “you are _surprisingly_ close.”

This exchange, this banter, as he called it, bounced back and forth. She grew more confused by the minute.

“Glossaryck,” she said, her voice laced with hurt, “don’t you _want_ to come back? I thought we were friends.”

“ _Friends?_ ” Glossaryck was a bit surprised by that. Friends didn’t even begin to describe it – not really. “Friends” didn’t do _this_ for each other. She did everything she could for her “friends”, as he’d seen, but those people weren’t _friends_ to her.

They were _family_.

“... but that’s such a... _simple_ concept.” He finished, furrowing his eyebrows.

She’d taken that in the opposite way he had intended it, of course. He’d felt a twinge of something other than pride when he’d seen her dip down and _break the fourth wall_. Her eyes slowly dimmed, disheartened, and Glossaryck shouldn’t have looked when tears were really quite visible in her eyes.

Maybe this was for the best. It was all about the distance, right?

When he’d sent her off after suggesting that a bit of distance was what she needed, he might as well have kicked himself.

 

* * *

 

 

Glossaryck remembered that feeling, that feeling he couldn’t explain he had held Star as an infant in his arms. It was unexplainable. Unrecognizable. But he treasured it.

Star had continued to do so much for him, even when he had established a distance. He felt this feeling throughout following along on her journey. He thought he’d even try to show Meteora some of this feeling, and took her to times far beyond her own, tried to teach her in little ways how to determine harmful from healthy. He’d never say it directly, of course, because that would defeat the purpose of her determining it for herself – but it was the least he could do for the little queen he had previously failed. And upon spending time with Meteora, he’d come to experience this unknown feeling from both her and her mother.

Overall – toward the end of his life had been pretty great. He’d lived a dull existence until now.

He watched as the violent tides fought and the winds rip through the magic dimension; watched as the last of the beautiful golden hue tapered off into a dull gray. He watched _them_ , his queens, four generations that had created genuine change, had shown him the meaning of life. He'd gotten to see little Meteora and her mother achieve their final forms, giving the baby a little nod of encouragement.

Glossaryck watched, even as the realms had become ugly, even as the people within it began to panic. He had wiped a tear from his eye, and couldn’t believe that they had finally managed to do the one thing that was destined to happen.

Even in these final moments, though, he struggled to label that feeling. He knew pride. Adoration. These didn’t seem to fit the bill.

It was when Star ran _away_ from safety, _toward_ him, he was finally able to find the right word – or three. More like a phrase.

That realization came alongside genuine worry that she would be missing her portal. But he wouldn’t let that happen, either.

The time for distancing himself was over, though. He gave her a smile, a genuine grin full of pride and adoration and affection, and he murmured, “I’m proud of you, kid.” In her confused, helpless eyes, he saw that very same baby, curled in her crib, alone, before giving such a beaming smile in his arms.  Right now it was impossible to see anything else.

“Glossaryck – w-what’s going to happen to _you_?” Star asked, voice shaking and she rung the hem of her dress in her hands.

Absolute, unconditional love.

That was the feeling.

“Well...” He drawled, looking up at the raging skies, “a good captain always goes down with his ship.”

Her eyes widened, but her mother called for her. Star looked between Moon and Glossaryck, absolutely torn, before throwing herself and him into a crushing hug.

“Bye,” she whispered, tears rippling in the wind. He felt them on his shoulder.

He patted her hair gently. “Off with you, kiddo.”

He knew she’d come back for Marco, that they’d cleave the worlds together – but this was the goodbye Star really needed.

Off she ran.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might become a series - Star dealing with a changed world and losing her mentor, as well as loopholes in the story.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> No one ever writes about Glossaryck. I figured I'd start. Let me know what you think.


End file.
